So I think my main source of unhappiness right now is that I still haven't lost all my pregnancy weight. I gained 60 lbs with Hayden and as of right this minute I've lost 40.5 of that. I know, 40.5 lbs in 3 1/2 months is pretty good ... but it's not good enough for me. People have told me 9 months on, 9 months off. If it takes me another 6 months to lose 19 lbs I'll cry.
It's been hard to get out and walk because the weather has been so up and down. We got into walking mode and went for hour walks everyday a few weeks back but then it got cold and rainy. And I hate walking around the mall! I'm hoping the weather gets better again soon because I really need to get back out there :o(
Ideally I'd like to lose 60 more lbs. Which is such a big number that it frightens me. I want to get in shape once and for all! I guess I could always join the Y, but to be honest gyms frighten me a little. Everyone in there seems so fit and I always feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
So starting today I'm really going to force myself to not eat junk. I need to start eating healthy. I'm doing good with the fast food. I think I've had it twice in the last month. But it's the crap food from the grocery store that's killing me! BAH!!! And on the days it's crappy I'm going to use my Wii Fit. Whether I like it or not. Fortunately Hayden loves his playmat a lot so I can put him on that next to me while I work out for 20 minutes.
*sigh* I really hope I can stick with it this time :o( Oh and I should mention that I'm not an unhappy person ... I love my life and I love being a Mom. But my weight makes me unhappy towards my body.
About Me
See, I said I was terrible at this :o) But since Hayden is taking a little snooze I figured this would be a good time to update!
So I'm having a hard time already imagining going back to work. It makes me so sad and I still have 7 months off. Just the thought of being gone for 10+ hours a day makes me sick. I am all for Hayden being in daycare or with my Mom but just knowing that I won't get to see him 50+ hours a week?! *sigh* My job is a 50 minute drive away. And that's not during rush hour. If I work from 9-5 I have to leave at 7:45 and I get home about 6-6:15. I'll literally get to spend 1 hour with him a day during the week. Oh well, I guess I shouldn't stress about something that isn't happening yet!
Lots of single Mom's do it and juggle it all, but I guess I'm just worried that the next 7 months are going to go by so quickly.
I'm looking forward to this summer though! I'm going to BC for almost a month and I'm SO excited! I finally get to meet my cute little cousin JD. He's 3 1/2 months older than Hayden so I'm hoping they get along and have a great time together. It should be interesting though taking Hayden on the 5 hours plane ride. LOL, he's going to be so squirmy. I feel bad for the person who's going to have to sit beside me. At least on the way home my Mom will be on the flight too so we can take turns holding him and entertaining him. And it'll be great to spend time with my Uncle and his fiancee ... last time I was there we had a blast :o) I never wanted to leave! (Although I'm sure they wouldn't have appreciated that lol)
As for Mr.Hayden ... he's doing awesome. His development is progressing each and every day and it's so fun to watch him! I try and read to him every day and he loves it. He'll sit still and listen to me read him stories, sometimes he even "reads" along with me :o) He loves looking at the pictures too. I'm hoping this will start a life long love affair with books, just like I have. I've always been a reader and my Mom read to me all the time.
He's also starting to get into toys! We play with Sophie the Giraffe and he keeps trying to put it in his mouth. He usually just ends up bonking himself in the face though. LOL. He grabbed a diaper today and successfully managed to put the corner in his mouth and chew on it! Oh, I guess I should mention that it was a clean one :o)
Anyway I guess that's all for now!
An update on Hayden:
He's doing SO well. He's recently started "talking" to everything and everyone. Instead of crying to make sure I know he's awake, he "calls" me. It is SO cute and I love it! He'll talk to me, my Mom, our family and friends, his stuffed animals, his fish on his swing, etc. I haven't weighed him in a few days but as of last week he was 16.5lbs. Let me tell you it's getting so much harder to carry him in his car seat! He's also about 27 inches long. For 11 and a half weeks old that's pretty big! He's in the 95th-100th percentile for his height, weight, and head circumference. He's going to be a big boy! He definitely keeps me VERY busy but it's fun! We've recently started going to programs at the Ontario Early Years Centers which has been great! It's been fun getting to meet other Mommies and babies and Hayden seems to enjoy it. Well as much as an 11 and a half week old child can enjoy anything I guess :o)
An update on Me:
I'm really wanting to get going on getting my business up and running. It's hard right now because Hayden gets my attention for most of the day, but I'm determined to get it going! For those of you who don't know, I'm going to be doing custom invitation design! So for those of you who have weddings, parties, showers, etc., coming up and need invites done let me know! I'd love to get started and prices are very good compared to a lot of other companies out there! I really want to be a part time stay at home Mom when my mat leave is over. Daycare is so expensive, I work 50 minutes away which means I'd be gone for 10 hours a day and by the time I paid for gas and daycare what's the point? So I'm hoping to be able to go back part time and spend the rest of the time with Hayden and doing invitations. It would be great for the both of us. I can't imagine being gone from him for 50 hours out of the week. Especially if he spends 10 hours+ a night sleeping. I'd feel as though I'd miss out on a lot of stuff. I guess we'll see what happens!
So anyway this is long enough for a first post and it's getting late. Better get my sleep while Hayden is still sleeping!!